Summer Lovin, Had Me a Blast.

This is my last week of summer vacation.

School is right around the corner.

But, actually, I am looking forward to it.  Summer is great, but I think most teachers agree with me when I say we have the type of personality that can't sit still for too long.  I love being able to start a fresh, new year.  Not many jobs can you finish up, then get ready for a new year with a refreshed, motivated attitude.  I miss the kids too and the people I work with.  I am anxious to get started with some new ideas that have been stewing in my mind all summer.

but....

I will miss this sweet face.  

It is an absolute blessing to get to spend every day this summer with her.  She's my best friend in the whole, wide world.  I love being there when she makes new discoveries and I love watching her play with the excitement only a child can have.  I miss her more than words can express while I am at school, but it makes it a lot easier knowing that she is in such capable hands and with two other people who love her as dearly as I do.  (my mom and mother-in-law)  

Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not a stay-at-home mom.  It makes me wonder if moms who do stay home, think I don't love my baby as much because I don't stay home.  Disclaimer: I don't really think stay-at-home-moms are really thinking that AT ALL, but that's what mommy guilt will do for you.  There are many days that I wish I was home with my little one right next to you all, but let's be honest, there are also days when having some time to escape to work, doesn't sound too bad either.  Staying at home, is work!  Hard, hard work!  

I go back in forth with this argument in my head all the time.  I do find comfort in the fact that my mama was a teacher most my life and I think I turned out just fine.

I heard once that mamas who teach, are choosing to spend their days with someone else's children, because their love for all children runs deep.  My little baby will be in school soon, whether I want to admit it or not.  When that happens, I want her to be loved by those teachers, men and women who have chosen to be in the classroom and love someone else's kids too. 

So here I am, pouring my heart out and being pulled in two directions.  

Two purposes.

For me, I really think my job gives me a sense of purpose, so does being a mommy, but my job is just my OTHER purpose.  

I think I can have two.  

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.  I know I don't usually have such meaningful posts, but I know my audience of readers is small and I really want Blair to look back at this some day and know what my thoughts were.