Birthday Boy

On Monday, my main squeeze turned the big 3-0.

I've been 30 since April, so I am always happy when we are back to the same age.

However, all of our major life events have happened (and been documented) when I was a year older than him.  By major, I mean 2.

1.  When we got married, I was 26 and he was 25.  Right there in black and white forever on our marriage license.

2.  When Blair was born, I was 29, he was 28.  Again on her birth certificate.

I will go down in history as the older woman.

We celebrated his birthday the weekend before with dinner at his parents, then dinner the next night with my family.

On his actual birthday, we went to work (thrilling), I made him his favorite Canadian bacon/pineapple pizza, and he had a softball game.  It was at 8:15 and Blair was (supposed) to be asleep by then, so my mom came over, so I could go cheer him on.  It was a fun night together.

I don't talk about him too much on here, but he really is the rock I lean on.  (Do you lean on rocks?  You know what I mean.)  He keeps me together when sometimes I may fall apart.  He makes me laugh, mostly at the silly things he says.  I knew on our first date, that I wanted to marry him.  I wasn't sure if he felt the same way, but I sure hoped he did.  It was the first time that I had really felt like I met someone that I could be with 24/7.  We can talk for hours (we used to on the phone when we were long-distance) or just hang out and be perfectly happy.  Matt really respects me and everything I have to say and everything I do.  I love that and truly feel like we are best friends....forever.  I can't imagine life without him.  He's the best daddy to Blair.  She adores him and he can get the best giggles out of her.  I'm so, so happy that he's mine....and that he was born 30 years ago.

I picked some pictures that just made me snicker or smile or remember...or just when I close my eyes and picture Matt, these are what I see.

Summer Lovin, Had Me a Blast.

This is my last week of summer vacation.

School is right around the corner.

But, actually, I am looking forward to it.  Summer is great, but I think most teachers agree with me when I say we have the type of personality that can't sit still for too long.  I love being able to start a fresh, new year.  Not many jobs can you finish up, then get ready for a new year with a refreshed, motivated attitude.  I miss the kids too and the people I work with.  I am anxious to get started with some new ideas that have been stewing in my mind all summer.

but....

I will miss this sweet face.  

It is an absolute blessing to get to spend every day this summer with her.  She's my best friend in the whole, wide world.  I love being there when she makes new discoveries and I love watching her play with the excitement only a child can have.  I miss her more than words can express while I am at school, but it makes it a lot easier knowing that she is in such capable hands and with two other people who love her as dearly as I do.  (my mom and mother-in-law)  

Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not a stay-at-home mom.  It makes me wonder if moms who do stay home, think I don't love my baby as much because I don't stay home.  Disclaimer: I don't really think stay-at-home-moms are really thinking that AT ALL, but that's what mommy guilt will do for you.  There are many days that I wish I was home with my little one right next to you all, but let's be honest, there are also days when having some time to escape to work, doesn't sound too bad either.  Staying at home, is work!  Hard, hard work!  

I go back in forth with this argument in my head all the time.  I do find comfort in the fact that my mama was a teacher most my life and I think I turned out just fine.

I heard once that mamas who teach, are choosing to spend their days with someone else's children, because their love for all children runs deep.  My little baby will be in school soon, whether I want to admit it or not.  When that happens, I want her to be loved by those teachers, men and women who have chosen to be in the classroom and love someone else's kids too. 

So here I am, pouring my heart out and being pulled in two directions.  

Two purposes.

For me, I really think my job gives me a sense of purpose, so does being a mommy, but my job is just my OTHER purpose.  

I think I can have two.  

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.  I know I don't usually have such meaningful posts, but I know my audience of readers is small and I really want Blair to look back at this some day and know what my thoughts were.

4 years

Today is my hubby and I's 4 year anniversary.  Last year, we had just had a baby, so the day kind of came and went, but this year we are going to go out for a nice dinner.  I'm so in love with that boy.  He's truly my best friend.  I knew from our first date that I was going to marry him.  He just makes me feel like I've found my other piece.  I'm not whole without him.  We have the best talks and have a way of really understanding each other.  Marriage is hard work, but I'm glad I have him to be my partner through it.  

Here are some of my favorite pics from our wedding day.

I like this one because it's my dad giving me away.  Also, it was the first time Matt saw me on our wedding day.  Like the first time, for real, in Catholic weddings the groom doesn't watch you walk down the aisle, they turn around at the last minute.  I was not aware of that fact and was confused the whole time I was coming down the aisle, but I like that I have a picture of the exact moment.

I like this one because it shows my veil.  It was my mom's veil and my grandma made it.  It is very special to me.

MARRIED!

Our reception, it was beautiful, hot, but beautiful.

This is just typical me, waving to my peeps when we got introduced.

First dance

Love those hugs.

Funny story, the girl in the white dress in the front is me.  The boy standing right next to me is my groom-to-be.  We were 4 and apparently I was keeping him in line at our Christmas program.  It was destiny.